Helping Jerry - Part I
A Vision Quest episode
It was April of 1982, three months since the deadly crash that claimed the families of Bradford and Trevor Strand. The two surviving brothers were in the main conference room of the law firm Strand, Keystone, Cooper and Associates on the twentieth floor with Roosevelt Burdock, the firm’s Private Investigator. In the large conference room, the three men looked lost.
Roosevelt was the right-hand man of Bradford and Trevor’s late father, Harold, who started the firm in 1960. At 50, Roosevelt was an imposing figure, tall and muscular, with short white hair and a matching beard. His piercing blue eyes always commanded attention, and he seemed imposing until he smiled and put people at ease. The brothers had known Roosevelt since they were little boys. In fact, Roosevelt often referred to them as “boys” even though they were grown men.
“How are you boys holding up?”
“I can’t believe any of this happened,” Trevor said. “It’s all a blur.”
“I know, it went from the best day in my life to… well to this,” Brad said.
Trevor sighed, lightly tapped the plaster on his arm with a pen. With a tense smile, he said, “Well, this thing comes off Friday. I’ll be glad to see it gone.”
Bradford scratched a bandage above his right eye. Both he and Trevor suffered extensive facial injuries, and this was the last one that had yet to heal. He tapped his foot as he said, “I shouldn’t have organized that party. If I hadn’t gotten that limo, we would all be—”
Deep down, even though he didn’t admit it to himself, Trevor was mad at his brother. He knew he shouldn’t be, but he was. Regardless of this feeling, he said, “Stop it, goddamn it, it wasn’t your fault!”
Roosevelt’s blue eyes softened as he looked directly at Brad. “He is right, son. It was not your fault. Do not look back. It does no one any good and is actually harmful. Both of you need to look to the future.”
Stroking his black beard, Trevor said, “Well, we’re past the funerals. I’m glad that’s over.”
Brad said, “I know it’s not my fault, it’s just… It’s still sinking in for me… I keep expecting Jill to walk into the room.”
“I know what you mean. I miss them too,” Trevor said.
Brad gazed out the window towards the Philly skyline at the statue of William Penn on top of city hall. “Why did this happen to us? What kind of God would allow this?”
Trevor put his arm around his brother. “I don’t know. I can’t cry any more tears. I’ll tell you that.”
They both looked at Roosevelt. Other than their father, he was the one man they respected most. He’d been in their lives for as long as they could remember, and was always available to listen to whatever they couldn’t tell their father.
Roosevelt noticed their gaze. “Boys, I do not have those answers. I have helped both of you when you had school trouble… when you needed advice about girls. Trevor, I advised you about joining the Navy. Bradford, I helped you launch Pizza Land. I am a very smart and experienced man. I even helped your father when he got in a pickle… but this, I have no answer to that question—”
He looked out the window at William Penn. “But I will tell you this… you have to do something. You cannot just… you have to do something.”
Brad said, ”Yeah, I agree. We don’t have to work, we have enough from the sale of Pizza Land to do whatever we want.”
“You are right about that.” Roosevelt said, “I just completed setting up the Strand Trust with a rock solid investment portfolio. There is over three million. Between that and what you father left you, you have virtually unlimited funds.”
“I need time… time to figure out what to do next,” Bradford said.
“Well… I’ve decided to leave the Navy early. My retirement benefits will take a hit, but I don’t need the money,” said Trevor.
This surprised Brad. “Trev, are you sure?”
“Yes, very sure. I have no idea what to do next. Time… time is what I need, too. I plan to call Sergeant Booth after we’re done here.”
Brad’s face brightened. “Trev, remember those motorcycle trips we used to take? We could never afford anything really nice, and we could only take short trips.”
“Yeah, now we could get whatever we want. Go for as long as we want anywhere.”
Roosevelt said, “You boys always talked about Harleys. You could get a pair of them, take longer trips.”
Bradford wanted something meaningful to come from this tragedy and now was the time for him to share his ideas. Rapidly tapping his foot, he took a deep breath. “I have an idea I’ve been mulling over as I lay there in the hospital.”
He paused, looking at Trevor and Roosevelt.
Stroking his beard again, Trevor said, “Brad, just tell us, what’s on your mind?”
“Okay, well, I want something positive to come from the tragedy, something good for the world… I want to help people… we have all of this money.”
“Sorry Brad, exactly what are you trying to say?”
Brad laughed. “I guess I’m being clear as mud… I want these trips to be more than a joy ride. I want to tour the country helping people. I call it a Vision Quest. Helping people will let us figure out how to cope with all of this. I was thinking we do it for a year.”
“A year touring the country… on Harleys… helping people,” mused Trevor.
“How long have you been thinking about this Bradford?” Roosevelt asked.
“Well, laying in the ICU, near death… as I came to… I started to think perhaps I was spared for a reason.”
The room was silent for quite some time as Brad waited for a reaction to his idea.
“Well, I’m not sure of the name. Is Vision Quest the best you could come up with?” Trevor asked.
Brad was relieved his idea didn’t fall flat. He laughed, “Well if you can do better—”
“Naah, Vision Quest is fine. I just quit the Navy, I agree, this trip has to be meaningful.”
Brad said, “Well then, it’s a go.” He looked at Roosevelt. “You can help us with this, right?”
He was beaming, his blue eyes glowed. “I would be happy to. This is a great idea. You boys can take time to figure things out. I am only a phone call away if you need anything, anything at all.”
They went to a Harley dealership that day. Bradford purchased a tan 1982 FLT Classic Tour Glide with saddlebags and a brown leather seat. Trevor preferred a sportier model. He got a black 1982 Sturgis. For the first time in a long time, the brothers had something to look forward to.
Bradford was enjoying the sound of his bike as he and Trevor rode across the Adirondack mountains of central New York. As they rode up and down the mountains and valleys, the air was filled with the pleasant aroma of flowers. Bradford had mixed feelings after their first Vision Quest. They definitely helped Cory1 but he still felt deep despair. He looked over at Trevor, a few feet to his left. His black Sturgis sparkled in the sunlight. He noticed Trevor’s brown chaps and smiled. He never understood why he wore them.
As they neared the Great Sacandaga Lake, they stopped at a scenic overlook. The lake, formed by the Conklingville Dam, filled the river valley with a brilliant blue that contrasted with the lush green of the surrounding forest. Several islands dotted the surface of the water.
At a picnic table, they took a seat and opened a map. “That’s quite a view,” Brad said.
Trevor looked up from the map. “Sure is… this is much more fun on Harleys.”
“That’s for sure. I remember that ratty old Honda you used to ride.”
Trevor smirked, “Don’t even get me started. It was better than the POS you had.”
They turned their attention back to the map. They realized they were close to the dam and made their way there, hoping to find a place to stay for the night.
Trevor pulled into the Hadley Inn, just a stone’s throw from the dam, and stopped. Brad pulled up next to him. The handlebars shook in Brad’s hands as his bike idled. In a raised voice, he said, “Why are you stopping here?”
Smiling, Trevor said, “Let’s stay here for the night.”
“You’re kidding, look at this place. I thought we’d camp again.”
“Well, it’s getting dark, and it looks like there’s a good place to eat across the street. I love local places. We can have dinner and a few drinks, then walk back to our room without worrying about driving.”
Bradford felt uneasy. The motel was definitely a bit sketchy. The faded green paint and cracked parking lot gave him pause. It was your typical motor lodge built in the sixties with about a dozen rooms. The name Hadley Inn was written in slanted red neon lettering on a sign along the road. Under it a blinking sign read Vacancy. The No in front of it was not lit.
“Okay,” Bradford said, smiling. “It can’t be that bad.”
The room was okay, actually. It had two double beds and was clean but sparse. “This will be fine. We don’t need anything fancy,” Brad said.
“See, I told you. I’m starving, let’s eat.”
They walked across the street and entered the Red Lion Tavern. The place was packed, so they sat at the only two available stools at the bar. The bartender appeared and smiled. “Hi there, I’m Sammy. How can I help you gents?”
Bradford smiled. “I see you have Yuengling on draft. I’ll have that please… and a menu.”
“Same for me ma’am,” said Trevor.
Sammy returned with two mugs of beer and set them on the bar, along with the menus. Looking at the menu, Brad immediately noticed his favorite dish. “I see you have prime rib, how’s that?”
She smiled. “It’s our specialty. Along with the stuffed crab.”
“Perfect, I’ll take the prime rib,” said Bradford.
“The crab for me, ma’am.”
“Okay, that was fast,” Sammy said. She picked up the menus, smiled, and walked away.
“See, this place isn’t so bad,” Trevor said.
“I’ll let you know after I get my dinner.”
Bradford gazed across the bar, thinking about Jill as he sipped his beer. I hope you approve of what I’m doing, honey. He thought of his wife and son often. He hoped this Vision Quest thing would ease his mind, so far it hadn’t.
“Brad, are you with us?”
“Huh… What?”
“You looked like you were on another planet.”
“I was thinking about Jill. I miss her and Timmy so much.”
Trevor sighed. “Yeah, I still expect to go home and see Laura and Faye. I wonder what two-year-olds do in heaven.”
“I’ll bet Faye is playing with her Legos, just like she did here… on Earth.”
In very short order, Sammy returned with the food. “That looks great,” Brad said.
A thin young woman with short brown hair elbowed her way up to the bar. She looked at Brad, then Trevor. “Excuse me, boys… I need a refill.”
They moved to give her some room. Raising her arm, she said. “Sammy, another beer over here, please.”
Looking at Trevor, she said, “Where’re you boys from?”
“Just passing through ma’am. We’re on a cross-country trip on our motorcycles,” Trevor said.
Looking into his eyes, she smiled. “Wow, that sounds amazing. What kind of bikes you got?”
“A black Sturgis, it’s a Harley.”
“I love Harleys. I saw ‘em in the parking lot.”
“This is our second stop. We plan to do this for a year or so.”
She gazed up at him, her brown eyes full of curiosity. “That sounds like fun… I wish I could to something like that. But I could never—”
Trevor was pushed hard from behind. He turned and faced a tall, muscular man with long black hair in a ponytail. His hazel eyes blazed. “Hey bub, that’s my wife you’re making the moves on.”
“Jerry, we’re just talkin’.”
“Calm down sir, she’s right. I’m just trying to enjoy a dinner with my brother. Take a deep breath—”
He pushed Trevor with both hands and took a swing. Trevor blocked the blow with one hand. He noticed a tattoo of a black frog skeleton on his arm.
In a firm voice, Rose said, “Jerry, stop… Now!”
Jerry’s arm shook as Trevor continued to grip it. Then he relaxed his arm. A bouncer as big as a house appeared. “Everything okay here?”
“Yes sir,” Trevor said. “Right Jerry, we’re okay… right?”
Jerry seemed to shrink to half his size. “Yes, everything’s fine.”
Jerry and Rosemarie walked away. “Well, that was fun,” Bradford said.
“Sorry ‘bout that fellas. Jerry's a good guy, he's just dealing with lots of shit,” Sammy said. “Next round’s on me.”
Brad smiled. “What’s going on with him?”
“I noticed his tattoo. It’s called a BoneFrog… It honors fallen soldiers in the line of duty,” Trevor said. “He’s ex-Navy, I assume, probably a SEAL.”
“Yep, I dated him when we were in high school. He enlisted and went to Nam. When he came back, he dated Rose… she’s my best friend. They got married soon after he returned. They had little Jenny and things were fine… till they weren’t.” Sammy said.
Trevor looked over to where Rose and Jerry were sitting. They were having a heated conversation.
“Brad, I think I should talk to him.”
“Trev, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“He’s ex-Navy, and a SEAL.”
Trevor looked off across the bar for a bit, then stood up. “I’m going. I could use your help.”
Brad said, “Shit.” Then followed his brother to the table.
Rose saw them approaching and frowned. Jerry turned around quickly and looked up at Trevor. “What do you want? I don’t need any more trouble.”
“No trouble… just want to talk.” He pointed to the tattoo on his bulging arm. “I’m ex-Navy too.”
“We just want to talk… please,” Brad said.
“Let them sit Jerr.”
Jerry shrugged. “Okay, fine, sit… I could tell you were a SEAL. No one else could’ve done what you did when I took a swing at you… impressive.”
Trevor smiled. “No hard feelings?”
Everyone introduced themselves. Trevor and Bradford kept quiet about their family tragedy and their wealth. They only said they were on a year-long motorcycle trip. They learned that Rose worked as a secretary for a local company and, Jerry, as a motorcycle mechanic.
“He really is a good guy,” Rose said. “He’s a great dad. He just sometimes loses it.”
“I was in Nam, Jerry. I know, believe me, I know.”
In a soft voice, Jerry said, “I sometimes just can’t help myself. I’ll hear a noise, a car backfire, fireworks, even smells can set me off.”
“That’s not unusual. I’ve seen it before,” said Trevor.
Bradford and Rose sat quietly as Trevor and Jerry continued their conversation.
Jerry looked at Rose. “And you, even Jenny… I sometimes just feel… empty… I know you both love me… but I cannot seem to—”
“Jerr…” She looked into his eyes and held his hand. “I’m so sorry.”
Crying now, “And… you say I’m a good father, but sometimes I just—”
“Rose, what Jerry’s feeling is normal. Nam was a terrible place. It’s common to struggle when returning to the real world… Jerry, do you have nightmares?”
Rose spoke in a firm voice. “He does. He often wakes up screaming, sweating… I never know what to do.”
“Jerry, are your nightmares about what… what happened in Nam?” Trevor asked.
In a trembling voice, Jerry said, “Yes, it’s terrible. I think I’m back there.”
Trevor looked deep into Jerry’s eyes and talked softly and slowly. “Can you tell us about what happened?”
“I don’t know… if I can.”
“It really helps to talk about it, especially with someone like me who can relate to what you went through.”
Jerry had a vacant look as he stared off into the distance. “Well, we were wading across this river. We had our arms above our heads holding our weapons, five of us… rain pouring down… Then, crack, a shot.”
Trevor moved closer to Jerry. “A sniper?”
“Yep. The first shot got Billy, the next one got Jack. Crack, crack, two more. Jimmy and Sam were gone—”
He took a long slug of his beer. “Then the cavalry came, two Hueys in low. Blew the sniper to bits—”
Rose held her husband’s hand.
“I was the only one who survived. I wasn’t even injured.”
Brad said, “I can’t even imagine what you went through.”
“I should’ve been killed too. Why was I the only one to—”
Trevor went on speaking cautiously, using an even-toned voice. “You went through some shit, no doubt. What you’re feeling is normal… but your buddies, Billy, Jack, Jimmy and Sam, they would all want you to live.”
Weeping, Rose said, “Jerr… you never told me any of this.”
“It’s very common, Rose. I’ve known people with PTSD2 before. They experience things that many normal folks don’t. Nightmares, lashing out, bad temper, losing jobs, even suicide. It’s very common.”
“PTSD, what the fuck is that?” Jerry asked.
“Post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s a new thing we’re just learning about because of what went on over in Nam… and other places of conflict.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me,” he put his head in his hands. “I should just be able to get over—”
“No, you shouldn’t. Thirty percent of vets have PTSD, that’s like two hundred and seventy thousand people,” Trevor said.
Bradford looked into Jerry’s eyes. “Help’s available for this.”
Rose looked at Brad. “We wouldn’t begin to know where to look. I don’t think anything like that exists way out here in the boonies.”
“Well, maybe we can,” Brad said. “Let us make some phone calls. We’ll get back to you tomorrow. In the meantime, we’ll call you a cab. Neither of you is in any shape to drive.”
Jerry said, “How do you know about—”
“Let us make some calls, then we’ll explain everything,” Brad said.
“Okay, we only live ten minutes from here. I’ll make dinner tomorrow evening, say six… we can talk about what you learn. It’s the least I can do,” Rose said.
“Sounds good,” Brad responded.
“Hang a left at the road, then after about five miles, our house is on the right overlooking the dam,” Jerry said.
Trevor smiled. “Great, see you at six. We’ll know a lot more then… and keep the faith, that’s important.
Thanks for reading the first part of Helping Jerry. To read the conclusion of this episode click here.
For more information about Vision Quest click here.
Let me know what you think of the story so far.
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This is a great premise, Scott. It is the kind of thing that could be a tv serialized drama. Nice work! I like these two good-hearted men. I think they are on to something that will help ease their pain.
I feel for Jerry. Good story, Scott!